I occasionally receive requests for coaching or mentoring from colleagues looking for self-development or considering a senior leadership role. Since joining Oxford University Hospitals as Head of Integrated Quality Improvement the requests have come more frequently.

One such request came from a trainee surgeon who was considering her next step on the career ladder. Despite being new in post and stretched for time, I agreed. We had a rich discussion about her hopes and ambitions as I posed questions, offered advice and made further introductions. At the end of the hour, she thanked me for my time and asked if there anything she could do for me.

I hesitated.

There were so many things I could ask of her. She was talented, thoughtful, and enthusiastic and there were dozens of quality improvement projects I was trying to get off the ground. The opportunity to gain direct benefit was there, and she was technically in my debt.

‘No, thank you,’ I replied. ‘But what I would like you to do is to retrospectively take up my coaching offer on Hexitime, give me one credit then put an offer on there to earn one yourself.’ Confused by my reply, she asked me why.

I then explained that Hexitime worked as a timebank and I would rather she pay that debt forwards to someone who could benefit from her talent, extending the chain of kindness. Otherwise, what develops is a clique of those more and more privileged – typically, disproportionately white, male and privately educated.

As an outsider, I was more interested in supporting other outsiders to climb the snowy white peaks of the NHS, and I hoped she could join me in lifting others as she climbed.

She agreed, and I thought no more of it.

A few weeks later, at a regular meeting with Hexitime co-founder John Lodge, he described enthusiastically how he himself had been the beneficiary of a Hexitime exchange with an individual who had offered some advice that might help us grow the site. As he described the trainee he had spoken with, from his description I recognised that it was the same trainee I had met.

Although I have always believed that helping others is the right thing to do, what this story demonstrates is that the waves of our generosity eventually come back to us in a form some call universal karma.

We see this in tightly knit groups such as families, clubs, and neighbours. But across societies and communities, these ripples quickly become less visible. And when it exceeds the horizon of our awareness, that connection between action and impact disappears. It is why helping a stranger is seen as a selfless act and giving charity is the exception, not the norm.

This was an unusually short chain, involving just three people and only three links back to its origin. Most often in communities and networks the chain extends beyond the physical and temporal horizons.

When someone lets you into a queue of slow moving traffic, for example, you are more likely to do the same at a later junction. But that first individual may never see the impact of his or her act of kindness. It is that lack of visibility that leads to short-term gains for long-term societal losses.

At Hexitime we can map the chains of exchanges through Social Network Maps. This offers a helicopter view through time and space of exchanges, so individuals can see their place in the chains of kindness. From this perspective. it becomes impossible to see where kindness starts and where it ends. The sequence of helping and being helped travel like a circuit through electrical wires. In effect, we are all conduits for the transmission of that energy. We do not own the actions any more than a radiator owns the heat that emanates from it.

With this deeper understanding comes a greater readiness to give and to receive as we realise that kindness is not a well, but a limitless stream that flows endlessly. In time, we hope that Hexitime will contribute to a work culture in which the gifting of our time to one another becomes commonplace.

Our hope is that we will begin to see that when you give, it comes back to you, creating a circuitous and ongoing chain of kindness. An appointment to a senior role would come with an expectation that some of that time will be spent developing others, and is indeed part of the privilege of holding the position.

In a culture grounded in kindness, offering your time to strangers would be seen as a wise investment, with a confidence that this generosity will be recouped in ways you may never know but you will benefit from.

To find out more and participate in Hexitime, you can register here.